Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Samson Snipped Again!

Well, a diagnostics post is brewin' (in my brain) but here's a quick comment about recent events surrounding our favorite Mariner.

I've been trying to cut back on watching games, since the wife has been pretty upset with the amount of time I've been giving to baseball. Munchausen wouldn't be proud (RIP, ol' bro! Hope your 'resurrection' as Citizen K has served you well)! I was actually in the middle of an argument with my 4-year-old (he was demanding that I get the entire package of badminton birdies that he'd blasted onto the roof) when I happened to notice this taking place in the game (after I'd just turned it on to check the score):

(Photo from today's Seattle P-I, not PositivePaul's archive ;-)

The first thing that crossed my mind? Oh noes! Samson's getting his hair cut! How dare the Twinkies cut the Sacred Sherrill String!

Sho 'nuff...

It would happen when George was placed in the game to get some experience with righties (okay, one righty, one switch-hitter). It would happen after he got his wish granted.

You'll get 'em next time, George!


At 5/03/2006 9:56 PM, Blogger Citizen K said...

Yes indeedy--you knew I'd have to chime in on the "wife [being] pretty upset" bit. I think M.M. has got the right idea, and is trying to "show [you] the way / show [you] the way / take [you] tonight to the river and wash [your] illusions away," so to speak (thanks to circa 1991 Styx for those lines of Gulf War-era hope indelibly engraved into Citizen K's synapses...) In any case, (as I've learned,) when the wife thinks something is getting out of control, she's probably right.

And in this case, the wife would have to think that Eddie Guardado blowing games has gotten WAY OUT OF CONTROL!!! Good heck, WTF? Should this guy be demoted to blowout-mopup role, or what? The tightrope he has walked throughout his career is way beyond frayed--it's become severed, with its dissociated strands ruthlessley flapping and slapping the Mariners in the face at every turn (how's that for a metaphor?) Guardado himself has plunged into the safety net of a "new ballgame" (Niehaus, 1976-2006) far too often this season.

It's time for a change. Putz has been good. Soriano has been dominating. Sherrill has been Sherrill (GS52?--nicknames are for Jr. High kids, my friend...) There's no reason to keep drawing water at the Guardado well; it's gone sour--Bobby Ayala sour. (No, that's not fair to "BA666"; Guardado has now washed further up than Ayala ever beached himself with the M's.) The M's were fools for picking up his option for this year, and are fools for continuing to try to raise his trade deadline value. At best, they're by now looking at a possible deal for Ken Griffey Jr ("MRI24".) Woe unto the contender who thinks all Guardado needs is a good pitching coach--what he needs is Juan Ponce de Leon's fountain of youth (which has been, for the past four centuries, rather difficult to locate, though Clemens, Moyer and Franco have apparently found a tributary.)

In any case, I am not planning to proof this post before submitting, so I hope I've made some semblance of sense (if that even makes a semblance of sense.) Citizen K likes Raul IbaƱez, Jose Lopez, Rafael Sorianez, Willie Bloomquez (!) and Joel Pineirez. I'm out!


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